Have I told you about my neighbor? I don’t know much about her other than her name and that she has this one skirt that I really like. Oh and what time she and her boyfriend (whose name I also know…) have sex, and how great it is.
This is what’s been happening for the past, well since the spring probably. Two or three times a week I climb into bed and disappear into dreamland. Anywhere between the hours of 3 and 6 AM I am awoken, from a dead sleep mind you, by the joyful noises of my neighbor and her boyfriend having sex. This sex must be pretty good, and every time, for the elation I hear floating out of her open bedroom window and into mine.
I’m not gonna lie, I really dislike being awakened in the middle of the night, and especially by sex noises. I’ve been pretty goodvnatured about the whole thing. Her escapades make for pretty funny stories. The other night though I woke up to, not only the orgasm screams, of which there were more than usual this time, but the sound of bare skin hitting bare skin in the heat of the moment. SICK. Pushed over the edge. So now I’m trying to decide what to do, because honestly, I’ve had enough. My initial thought was to write her a note and stick it on her door. Just politely saying “I have no problems with what you do in your spare time and in the privacy of your own home, but please keep it down!!” A few of my friends told me to fight fire with fire and have my own loud mid-night sex. I think next time it happens I just might yell out my window “KEEP IT DOWN YOU FUCKING FREAKS!!” I mean I can’t be responsible for what comes out of my mouth in a state of just having been rudely awoken.
One thought on “Late night ballad of a neighbor girl”
that’s straight up hilarious. i’d go with the note. -kelly