The Return of Conan

photo from team coco

Conversations I’ve had on Gchat today are as follows.

me:  I KNOW!!!!!!!!! sam and i were lamenting the fact that neither of us have cable.
me: ooooh conan toinght sam!!!!!!
except neither of us has cable haha
Sam: AHHHH!!!!!
me: i’m pretty sure i’m going to watch it online tomorrow morning
Sam: i’m so happy for conan – i listedn to a radio interview he did with ryan seacrest… he’s dreamy even on the radio! (i originally mistyped – typo was “creamy” instead of dreamy…)
me: hahaha. considering his paleness he could be creamy 🙂 i’m so happy for him too. he seems like such a good guy
me:  don’t forget conan tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bitch:  I KNOW!!!!!!!!!! I AM SOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Firstly, “Bitch” is short for “Bitch Please,” which is what I have my friend Bette as in my phone and therefore in my Gmail contacts. Secondly,that we are all excited for Conan to be back on t.v. would be an understatement!! I hope he kicks Jay Leno’s ass at the 11:00pm time slot. TEAM COCO!!

Ocean Make Out Sesh

No, I did not make out with someone in the ocean. I would never. I did however almost vomit up everything I’d eaten yesterday while watching Ali and Roberto make out in the ocean on the Bachelorette.

Yep, I’ve gotten sucked into watching the Bachelorette. Mostly because  one Monday night during last season’s the Bachelor, I got bored. I flipped on ABC and there was Jake. Suddenly I found myself inexplicably drawn to the T.V. every Monday night. Why I don’t know. Jake wasn’t that cute or interesting. Maybe it was simply the fact that the season was called “On the Wings of Love.” Gag me.

So of course I fell for sweet, freckled Ali, who had the chance to find love snatched so rudely away from her thanks to her job. When ABC announced that she would be the next bachelorette, I knew I was in for trouble. I’ve been watching off and on all season. I’ve wondered a few things.

1. How do you fall in love with someone and know you want to marry him within, what, two months? Especially when you’re surrounded by not just The One, but 25 other “The Ones.”

2. How do you fall in love while traveling the world? These people go on dates in Iceland, Portugal, and Tahiti. They dine in castles, they travel in helicopters, they ride horses in the mountains. Maybe it’s just me, but I think the real falling in love happens while you’re cooking dinner together, walking the dog, crying hysterically over the phone, taking naps together, sharing “how was your day” stories, and hanging out with each other’s families. Just the regular, every day stuff.

3. This show is obviously incredibly put on. It’s a wonder any of the couples have survived into a real relationship and marriage.

4. Frank is a creepy douchebag. Frank cries like a little girl on national T.V. Frank breaks someone’s heart. Ew Frank. I’m glad Frank has found happiness with his lady in Chicago. Couldn’t Frank have found his happiness before he was in the final three? Frank just wanted a free trip to Tahiti.

5. Why do the producers of this show think that all we want to see is Ali and her date making out in the ocean?! I would say we got at least ten minutes of footage of Ali and Roberto lying or standing in the water while kissing. Did they do anything else on this date? We’ll never know.

6. If I ever mention wanting to watch another season of the Bachelor/Bachelorette, please shake me.